Measure your relationship with a scientific self-test

The Valentine's Day test can be a step towards strengthening your relationship, say researchers. Photo: Michael Erhardsson/Mostphotos

Romantic relationships are one of the most important factors in people’s psychological well-being and can contribute to improving quality of life and preventing mental health problems. Despite this, there is often a lack of reliable and easily accessible tools to measure the state of romantic relationships. This is where the Valentine Scale plays an important role, says Per Carlbring, professor of psychology at Stockholm University and one of the researchers behind the study.

“This scale makes it possible to quickly and efficiently get an idea of how a relationship is doing, without having to go through long and complicated interviews or questionnaires. It can even be used during couples counselling to monitor progress over time,” he says.

The Valentine’s Scale consists of seven questions that touch on key aspects of a relationship, such as emotional closeness, trust and conflict resolution. The results are accompanied by concrete tips on exercises in everyday life that can help strengthen the relationship.

Scientific basis and credibility

Two extensive studies with over 1,300 participants show that the Valentine Scale has high reliability over time. It was also found to have strong correlations with other established measures of relationship satisfaction, such as the Dyadic Adjustment Scale and Quality of Dyadic Relationships. In addition, the Valentine Scale is easier to use and freely available compared to many other scales.

“At the same time, it can predict improvements in quality of life and contribute to a reduction in mental health problems such as anxiety and depression by quickly providing a clear picture of how the relationship is doing and thus enabling early intervention,” says Per Carlbring.

Identifying what can be improved in the relationship

The Valentine’s scale should be seen as a tool for reflection and dialogue, not as a definitive assessment of the future of the relationship, Per Carlbring points out. The aim is to encourage open communication and understanding, not to create unnecessary stress.

“Do the Valentine’s test as a step to start getting closer to each other on Valentine’s Day,” he says, emphasising the importance of not over-interpreting the results or becoming too fixated on achieving a good result.

“If the test result raises concerns, it may be a good idea to talk about what lies behind the answers. Relationships are dynamic and affected by many factors. It may be stress, communication difficulties or other life circumstances. By reflecting together, you can find ways forward, whether it’s strengthening the relationship or making other decisions,” says Per Carlbring.

Test yourself

The Valentine’s Scale is available free of charge and can be tested online with automatic scoring at https://valentinskalan.se/eng/. By answering the seven questions, you can get an indication of how you feel about your relationship right now.

The scientific article
Hlynsson, J. I., Ívarsson, Í. Ö., Andersson, G., & Carlbring, P. (2025). To be or not to be satisfied in your romantic relationship: Evaluating the reliability and validity of the Valentine scale. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy.